My fiance is in a rough situation. ive been with him for 5 years, he has two kids by the same woman..they were previously married, but divorced a couple days after the youngest was born. i am the only woman he has been with since their divorce. The kids are now 10 and 5, both girls. The mother isnt exactly "unfit" but shes not exactly the best mother either. She lived in MA with the kids at first. the baby was born here. when the baby turned about 1, she moved them to VA. Mom re-married only a couple months after the divorce was finalized. Not even a year later, mom divorced her new husband because he was abusive twoards her, but never laid a hand on the kids. She dated a new man while still living in VA. After another year or two they seperated. Mom has never worked a day in her life, she claims she wants to be a stay at home mom with the kids. She was living a stable life when she lived in MA and VA. She would only make about two trips a year to mass so the dad could see his kids, he pays her a decent amount in child support, and rarely gets to see them. He cannot take time off from work to travel to see them, or else he would fall behind on his child support, or risk losing his job all together for frequent trips, and again, mom has never worked, not even when they were married. Shes with a new man now, its almost like she has to be with somebody. She has a third child now, with her new boyfriend. Dads youngest (not this new child) is so confused, she understands who her father is, but still calls all moms boyfriends "daddy". The oldest misses her father so much. Mom decided to move to ohio only 4 months ago. She came for a visit not even two weeks ago, but left the kids with their aunt and went back to ohio. She has a tendency to dump the kids off with family..but never dad. She leaves them with her parents in VA for weeks on end, and they have spent time with their aunts and uncles who live in mass when she needs to figure out her self. The girls went back to ohio yesterday, The oldest called him crying, she wants to live with dad. He has never gone for custody in fear moms parents will hire her a good lawyer like they did in the divorce. We cannot afford a lawyer. The other day his oldest told him she has been researching how old she can be to make her own decisions on living arrangements, and said when she turns 12, she wants to live with dad. He never sees his kids, he crys over the void of missing his babies. We arnt well off, but we do have decent jobs, and are doing good for ourselves. We havent moved too much, but are willing to find a bigger place to make room for his girls if he was awarded any custody. Mom is moving the kids back and forth between states, never has a job, doesnt even have a car, leaves kids with family, and still tells him shes "doing whats best for the kids". wouldnt whats best be to move back to MA so dad and i can help with the kids? My question is…what is the likely he could obtain joint custody of them? And if he does, how does this work in two seperate states? or, what is the likely he could motion the court to move mom back to MA? He did sign a form stating she could move the kids out of state, but enough is enough, she needs to remember these are kids, they have feelings too, and when they call their father crying over missing him, wouldnt it be time to act like an adult and do whats best for them? All input is greatly appreciated. and again, sorry for ranting and if this was long, im just trying to figure out what his options are. Thanks!
Joint custody in two states will never happened. Shared maybe, like during summer and holiday breaks.
My question is, why in the world isn’t dad moving closer to his children? Once he establishes residency, he’ll be in a lot better position to go after complete custody. There should be nothing more important than his children, including geography, His children are crying out, he needs to man up and be there for them. No excuses.
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