Can a mother with primary legal custody of her child leave out of state on vacation without?
Me and my wife are trying to go on vacation out of state for 5 days (Fri-Tues) and the father gets the kid every weekend. We called him and asked him if we can take the kid (3yrs. old) and he said no cause he wants to see him. Which is BS! We have offered him have the baby a few xtra days next week, but still refuses cause he wants to be an a**…Can we still go on vacation, due to the fact my wife still has primary legal and physical custody?!
Legally speaking if it is his parenting time then that is what it is.
Now, speaking as a custodial parent and a non-custodial parent, see my husband has custody of one of his kids and the older one still lives with her mom.
Anyway, I have been on both sides of this and I can tell you that if there is a special occasion, such as a family trip, and it MUST be held on the NCP’s weekend (whish in this case is EVERY weekend) and it was unavoidable then the father should be working with you, not being a jerk. Everything is suppose to be in the best interest of the child, not just by the letter of the court order. have you thought about the option of offering him the entire Fri-Tuesday?
If he wasn’t too keen on that idea I would send him an e-mail or certified letter informing him that the entire family is going away out of state and these are the dates and the place you will be. You will apololgize for having to schedule this over a weekend but there was no other way around it. And offer any 3 days of his choice over the next 3 months that he can have the child to make up the time. I would also include that since you offered the father that time and he was unable to watch the child you had no other option.
Now this is going to royally piss him off. However, the only thing he can do is take you to court for contempt. Local police will not interfere, it is a civil matter, and the child is with the primary custodian. If/when he takes you to court for contempt he will have to spend about $200, even if he represents himself, to file everything and take off work. Then the Judge will see that you did technically not follow the court order, so you will most likely be found guilty of contempt, however given the fact that you warned him, you offered further time with the child, and it was in the child’s best interest to go with you your punishment will be a warning. Do you really think the guy will do all that just to prove he is right?
I would get a modification of the court order so this can not happen in the future. get a line added in that says something like "Due to the NCP having the child every weekend which can be restrictive to the childs vacation time and special occasion time with the CP, the custodial parent will be permitted to have the child for a total of 4 weekends a year. These weekends will be chosen by the custodial parent and a written notice will be given to the NCP no later than 2 weeks before said weekend."
March 6th, 2010 at 8:45 am
If he has the child every weekend, and he does not agree to not having the child, you have a problem. Court orders are court orders. All you can do is work it out, or take your vacation during the week, and make sure he has the child during the weekend….good luck.
References :
March 6th, 2010 at 9:18 am
The child’s parenting plan should clearly state how vacations are to be planned.
If it does not, then I do not believe that you can interfere with the father’s visitation time in order to vacation.
References :
March 6th, 2010 at 10:04 am
check with the lawyer who did the divorce. Review the custody agreement. Be careful Get good advice and let the suits argue it out. Does she have sole custody and he has visitation? Is it shared custody?
Whatever you two do – do NOT make the child a pawn in the custody game. That’s just wrong. If dad chooses to play this game – call him on it. talk to her lawyer,. and fast. You want to nip this little game in the bud.
References :
March 6th, 2010 at 10:53 am
no he can say no for any reason he wont to
thats wut happen when you get divorce like that what do you expect
References :
March 6th, 2010 at 11:40 am
Details of travel should be written into any parenting agreement..what does the agreement allow for travel?
References :
March 6th, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Would you like for me to talk to him?
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
References :
March 6th, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Legally speaking if it is his parenting time then that is what it is.
Now, speaking as a custodial parent and a non-custodial parent, see my husband has custody of one of his kids and the older one still lives with her mom.
Anyway, I have been on both sides of this and I can tell you that if there is a special occasion, such as a family trip, and it MUST be held on the NCP’s weekend (whish in this case is EVERY weekend) and it was unavoidable then the father should be working with you, not being a jerk. Everything is suppose to be in the best interest of the child, not just by the letter of the court order. have you thought about the option of offering him the entire Fri-Tuesday?
If he wasn’t too keen on that idea I would send him an e-mail or certified letter informing him that the entire family is going away out of state and these are the dates and the place you will be. You will apololgize for having to schedule this over a weekend but there was no other way around it. And offer any 3 days of his choice over the next 3 months that he can have the child to make up the time. I would also include that since you offered the father that time and he was unable to watch the child you had no other option.
Now this is going to royally piss him off. However, the only thing he can do is take you to court for contempt. Local police will not interfere, it is a civil matter, and the child is with the primary custodian. If/when he takes you to court for contempt he will have to spend about $200, even if he represents himself, to file everything and take off work. Then the Judge will see that you did technically not follow the court order, so you will most likely be found guilty of contempt, however given the fact that you warned him, you offered further time with the child, and it was in the child’s best interest to go with you your punishment will be a warning. Do you really think the guy will do all that just to prove he is right?
I would get a modification of the court order so this can not happen in the future. get a line added in that says something like "Due to the NCP having the child every weekend which can be restrictive to the childs vacation time and special occasion time with the CP, the custodial parent will be permitted to have the child for a total of 4 weekends a year. These weekends will be chosen by the custodial parent and a written notice will be given to the NCP no later than 2 weeks before said weekend."
References :
June 1st, 2010 at 12:29 am
Hello, I am the custodial parent and the non custodial parent said that he wont sign for my daughter to go on vacation to Jamaica. We have no parenting plan in place. Since we don’t have one, can I take my daughter on vacation for 5 days?