I have a 3 year old daughter with a guy I was dating. We seperated when she was about 10 months. We have had many issues b/c he does not help me out but with $187/month. I have started dating and met someone amaizing who has asked me to marry him and go live with him. He takes care of us very very well but Im just scared now that her father might try to fight for her custody b/c Im NOT married but want to move in with the new guy. Could her father possibly take her away or anything like that? Im really scared to lose her but I need to move on and live my life and do what is best for her as well. I honestly know that this new man will be a great father figure and provider. So is there any way her father can fight for her? What about moving to another state or out of the country for school or work related things? Could he fight to keep her here?
If he cannot even send you child support, you shouldn't worry too much about him; getting a lawyer, paying court cost and harassing you over the new situation. If he does, you have the benefit because you have been raising your daughter from no help from him. I would ask him to sign over the rights to you as full guardianship and let him know he will not have to worry about back child support.
* I may have misread: If he does pay the child support, he may be able to do this. Does he want to see the child often? Maybe you could soften him up with not having to pay anymore if he gives up his parental rights.
If he cannot even send you child support, you shouldn't worry too much about him; getting a lawyer, paying court cost and harassing you over the new situation. If he does, you have the benefit because you have been raising your daughter from no help from him. I would ask him to sign over the rights to you as full guardianship and let him know he will not have to worry about back child support.
* I may have misread: If he does pay the child support, he may be able to do this. Does he want to see the child often? Maybe you could soften him up with not having to pay anymore if he gives up his parental rights.
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It is possible for the father to fight for custody ..but it is not very likely that he will succed since the fact that he has not sought custody for the child for 3 years and has never been really involved with her upbringing is against him..also, about the fact that you are not married to the new guy, then you are not married to the father as well!! Atleast you are now attempting to give the child a proper family environment and a healthy upbringing by giving her the love and attention she needs….
And about moving away…I dunno your local laws but assuming you are a legal guardian of the child, you can take her with you too…wish you luck!
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I am a child of two parents in almost the same thing. My mom sort of lost custody on her own faults two years ago. If you are a good mother and can support your child, they have no real reason to take custody away. I live with my dad now and see my mom every other weekend during school and weeks sometimes during breaks. It had been the same way around earlier, but you also have to know the pain of the father in not seeing his child all of the time. When i was living in my grandma's care (my mom's mom) she called to my dad to come get me and he can have custody he cried he was so happy. The court(if it goes there) would choose who is the best parent at that point. That is who will get the child. If you have a husband and a nice place to live and if he is a single parent, they are going to choose you
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Calm Down. I assure you you'll be OK. He certainly has the right to file a court case for just about anything he wants. Without showing just cause, all will be thhrown out by the court before any action is taken. If he has not been involved in the child's life and has not been contributing financially, he has slim to none chance of being awarded anything with the exception of being ordered to pay child support and maybe limited vistation rights. If he is already under court order to pay and is not paying, he only stands a chance of losing more than he already has. It would be illegal for either of you to remove the child from the state and a federal crime to leave the country and in some cases to cross state lines, depending on what legal actions have been taken up to this date. Regardless, If he has acknowledged and been recognized as being the biloical father in the past, it would not be wise to leave the state to escape fears of him attempting to gain custody. Likewise for him, except he is more likely going to violate some criminal law as well. If or when you recieve an actual divorce decree, terms written out will explain the penalties and rules of taking the child across state lines. If he is ordered to pay child support and is in default, most likely your state is similar to most which now restrict your ex from leaving the country, refuses issue of a passport, revokes any legal or professional licenses, garnishes wages, intercepts and directs any IRS refunds to you, and has a criminal offense for which he can be arrested and jailed most likely from 6mos to a year. This can be done only one time due to double jeopardy laws, but your state may have additional laws and civil penalties as well. The best thing you can due at this time is start documenting everything. I can't stress that enough. Documentation in court is everyhting. In a civil court it is evidence. In a criminal court it is evidence but only used to support other evidence. In a civil proceeding, the standard of proof is different. Civil Law is won or lost based upon a standard of proof known as "a preponderance of the evidence". That means if you have a set of scales as you might visualize the scales of justice to look like, and one side has 49% of the evidence and the other has 51%, tilting the scales ever so slightly more in his favor, by law he wins. Its one thing to recall dates and times and incidents and testify to them in court, its quite another to have documented dates,times, and notes, witnesses, quotes, etc written in a notebook of somekind. KEEP IN MIND anything written in any notebook used as any form of evidence can be examined and ALL CONTENTS can be read into records for the judge or jury. Don't write anyhing other than information related to what you're documenting in your notebooks. Officers have been embarrassed having personal information unexpectantly read into evidence. __Criminal cases are based on proof referred to "as proof beyond a reasonable doubt". That means proof that given to an "ordinary and prudent man" with no previous knowledge of the crime would most likely reach the same conclusion.
Also document the positive things your new fiancee is doing in your life and in regards to your child. That might involve finacial receipt, medical reciepts, family video clips showing a positive relationship between him and your child, etc. Anything you consider important enough to think about to write and complain about is just as important in the opposite terms.
Your ex hasn't got a chance in hell to be quite honest. But be prepared, be confident. If you do not have a divorce decree, whether you consider yourself as ever having been married or not, I can almost gaurantee the court will consider you as common law married, and order a divorce before custody rights can be finalized. You can call the local Attorney's Bar Association in the major city nearest you who will most likely be able to refer you to a legal assistance line. You can call and speak to a lawyer for free for 20 mins or so, and if further action is need they can refer you to legal aid attorneys with cheap fee's. I don't know your financial situation, but I can say I have used them a couple of times when I was a teen or rookie officer, and got answers to what I need to know. Fortunately as a police officer, we have associations and legal organizations we join for monthly dues that pay for any legal matters that may come up over our career. Otherwise, I couldn't afford 300-400 an hour fees for a professional, expert defense if charged with a criminal offense or punished administratively unfairly. They've also filed and won to many lawsuits and class action suits to count resulting in multi million dollar settlements against agencies and changing personell policies both state and federal. I know the two head or firm attorneys who own and have ran the law firm since the early 70's, and they stress one thing. Documentation.
One more thing. Everything done in any court having jurisdiction over a child is done with the best interest of the child in mind. That's why you won't lose custody. But unless just cause be shown, he may be awarded visitation, but you will be awarded "managing conservertership". The fact that you are not divorced, if thats the case, and you are living with this new guy should not hurt you. If for some reason your ex shows up and starts causing a disturbance, without cause or even with cause if violent or over emotional, call police. Most likley under strict nationwide family violence laws he will be arrested. Whatever is done, ask the officers for the report or incident number. Insist on it. That will gaurantee that some lazy officer doesn't try to get by without documenting the incident, and you can get a copy of it, as well as just about any other records of any kind on anyone under the federal Freedom of Information Act.
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23 yr police veteran Dallas PD
Dallasblue08@aol.com
have custody? if so he can't do much unless he can show she is in some sort of danger or poor living condition or being mistreated. He can give up his rights but that is the only way your new husband could adopt her. His child support would stop might be a way to have him convinced. Does he see the child. there are so many variables that there is no set answer. There is always a possiblility he could prove the chilld
s bests interest is with him, depends on the type of home he could provide. Since there are so many factors a lawyer would need all the details to give you an honest answer And anything dealing with child custody can happen, Yes if wants t spend the money he can fight for his child
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