Comments on: What age does a child decide if he wants to visit non custody parent or not? http://www.parentcustodyblog.com/parent-custody/what-age-does-a-child-decide-if-he-wants-to-visit-non-custody-parent-or-not Helping keep you informed on Parent Custody issues.... Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:44:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: jeremy_11_28 http://www.parentcustodyblog.com/parent-custody/what-age-does-a-child-decide-if-he-wants-to-visit-non-custody-parent-or-not#comment-7705 jeremy_11_28 Thu, 30 Apr 2009 17:13:59 +0000 http://www.parentcustodyblog.com/parent-custody/what-age-does-a-child-decide-if-he-wants-to-visit-non-custody-parent-or-not#comment-7705 I can answer this question with experience. My parents divorced when I was 7. We lived with my mom for a while and things turned worse. At the age of 12 we were taken away from my mother and lived with my dad. I resented my mother for the longest time and did not want to go on the visitations with my younger brother and sister. They could not remember a lot of the things that had happened and were not bothered by visiting her. However, my Dad insisted on all of us visiting my mother. Though it was painful and sometimes downright nasty I went and spent time with her. Through the years we started building and healing our broken relationship. Now that I am much older I am glad I went and visited. If I would have stayed away I would not have the relationship that I have with my mother now. I am not telling you to make your son visit his father, but out of respect he should go and spend time with him. It takes a lot of time for people to heal and mend relationships. The one thing your son does need to do is try to have a relationship with his father. If he does not try now he will regret it later down the road. Good luck to you and your son in this tough moment. The best thing all of you can do is keep an open line of communication. I know it will be tough, but try to do this for your son. Please remember that even though you two have divorced you will always be linked together in times for your son. Prom, Graduation, College, Girlfriends, Engagements, Marriage, children, and the many other things we celebrate. For my brother, sister and I we still have to struggle with our parents. We thought it would finally end but now that we have children it is starting all over again. Please get along for your children. Good Luck!!!<br><b>References : </b><br> I can answer this question with experience. My parents divorced when I was 7. We lived with my mom for a while and things turned worse. At the age of 12 we were taken away from my mother and lived with my dad. I resented my mother for the longest time and did not want to go on the visitations with my younger brother and sister. They could not remember a lot of the things that had happened and were not bothered by visiting her.

However, my Dad insisted on all of us visiting my mother. Though it was painful and sometimes downright nasty I went and spent time with her. Through the years we started building and healing our broken relationship. Now that I am much older I am glad I went and visited. If I would have stayed away I would not have the relationship that I have with my mother now.

I am not telling you to make your son visit his father, but out of respect he should go and spend time with him. It takes a lot of time for people to heal and mend relationships. The one thing your son does need to do is try to have a relationship with his father. If he does not try now he will regret it later down the road.

Good luck to you and your son in this tough moment. The best thing all of you can do is keep an open line of communication. I know it will be tough, but try to do this for your son. Please remember that even though you two have divorced you will always be linked together in times for your son. Prom, Graduation, College, Girlfriends, Engagements, Marriage, children, and the many other things we celebrate.

For my brother, sister and I we still have to struggle with our parents. We thought it would finally end but now that we have children it is starting all over again. Please get along for your children.

Good Luck!!!
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]]> By: Nelson Vanguard http://www.parentcustodyblog.com/parent-custody/what-age-does-a-child-decide-if-he-wants-to-visit-non-custody-parent-or-not#comment-7704 Nelson Vanguard Thu, 30 Apr 2009 16:36:59 +0000 http://www.parentcustodyblog.com/parent-custody/what-age-does-a-child-decide-if-he-wants-to-visit-non-custody-parent-or-not#comment-7704 12<br><b>References : </b><br> 12
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]]> By: Nas Daf http://www.parentcustodyblog.com/parent-custody/what-age-does-a-child-decide-if-he-wants-to-visit-non-custody-parent-or-not#comment-7703 Nas Daf Thu, 30 Apr 2009 15:50:59 +0000 http://www.parentcustodyblog.com/parent-custody/what-age-does-a-child-decide-if-he-wants-to-visit-non-custody-parent-or-not#comment-7703 Valerie, to answer your question, I know what this situation is like, as I went through the same thing with my son. Unfortunately, since I live in a different country, the laws might be different yet similar, if you know what I mean. Your child must reach a certain age (Here, it's 13) to be able to make decisions regarding custody you and your ex-husband, but I think your son is old enough to be able to decide who he wants to be with, for what period of time etc. I am not entirely sure as to the age, but I assume it is either 12, 13,16 or 18, but I think, at 12, courts will decide to be more lenient. I hope this helped, Nas Daf<br><b>References : </b><br> Valerie, to answer your question, I know what this situation is like, as I went through the same thing with my son. Unfortunately, since I live in a different country, the laws might be different yet similar, if you know what I mean.
Your child must reach a certain age (Here, it's 13) to be able to make decisions regarding custody you and your ex-husband, but I think your son is old enough to be able to decide who he wants to be with, for what period of time etc.
I am not entirely sure as to the age, but I assume it is either 12, 13,16 or 18, but I think, at 12, courts will decide to be more lenient.
I hope this helped,
Nas Daf
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]]> By: Troy F http://www.parentcustodyblog.com/parent-custody/what-age-does-a-child-decide-if-he-wants-to-visit-non-custody-parent-or-not#comment-7702 Troy F Thu, 30 Apr 2009 15:15:59 +0000 http://www.parentcustodyblog.com/parent-custody/what-age-does-a-child-decide-if-he-wants-to-visit-non-custody-parent-or-not#comment-7702 Okay...I'm not sure why your marriage broke up or why you are no longer a family, but unless your husband was cheating on you or was seriously endangering you or your son, then please let me urge you to reconsider what you're thinking about doing. You son is a boy, and boys need their dads. It doesn't matter whether he says he wants to go or not, he needs his dad's influence in his life whether he thinks so or not. Boys identify with their dads, learn how to be men from them, and also get the discipline and appropriate pressure that only comes from other men. As your son gets older, he's going to hit some rough spots---and you're going to be glad you've still got his dad as a part of his life. Don't allow him to curtail his relationship with his father now....if anything, it should be growing and becoming greater.<br><b>References : </b><br> Okay…I'm not sure why your marriage broke up or why you are no longer a family, but unless your husband was cheating on you or was seriously endangering you or your son, then please let me urge you to reconsider what you're thinking about doing. You son is a boy, and boys need their dads. It doesn't matter whether he says he wants to go or not, he needs his dad's influence in his life whether he thinks so or not. Boys identify with their dads, learn how to be men from them, and also get the discipline and appropriate pressure that only comes from other men.

As your son gets older, he's going to hit some rough spots—and you're going to be glad you've still got his dad as a part of his life. Don't allow him to curtail his relationship with his father now….if anything, it should be growing and becoming greater.
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]]> By: craig.winter41 http://www.parentcustodyblog.com/parent-custody/what-age-does-a-child-decide-if-he-wants-to-visit-non-custody-parent-or-not#comment-7701 craig.winter41 Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:29:59 +0000 http://www.parentcustodyblog.com/parent-custody/what-age-does-a-child-decide-if-he-wants-to-visit-non-custody-parent-or-not#comment-7701 In most states once a child turns 12 the court gives more weight to that child's wishes. My suggestion is for you to not get involved in this delicate situation, other than supporting your child.<br><b>References : </b><br> In most states once a child turns 12 the court gives more weight to that child's wishes. My suggestion is for you to not get involved in this delicate situation, other than supporting your child.
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